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To ~B~
 
You were my friend
or so I believed
You shattered my soul
With Arrogance, with ease
You wounded my heart,
Body and Mind
I can't count
the times  that I have cried
July 91 you altered my life
But I have Survived
Each struggle and strife
~Brandi~

 

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 July 20 1991 was the day that changed the rest of my life. I was with a group of friends. It got late and I needed a ride home.. home was only about 6 blocks away. My "friend" , ~B~ offered to take me home and instead took me for a nightmare ride that I thought would never end. In a secluded wooded area, so far apart from people, I was raped by my "freind".  To say that I was stunned would be an understatement. I felt guilty and ashamed and I felt that my heart had truly broken. How can this guy, my friend, do this to me?  What did I do wrong?
 
It has been thirteen years. Thirteen years and I am finally starting to feel more angry than sad. I never turned B in. I figured no one would believe this thing. We were friends, surely I had just let him, right?
The boy I was dating then couldn't deal with it, blamed me, and left. I was lucky though, to find a man not long after who not only didn't blame me, didn't care that I thought I was tarnished, and loved me. Still does, we have been happily married 11 years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did I get through?
My mom was a big part of it. She's my best friend. A couple of close friends also helped me through the rough spots, and the rough spots that I still have.
My grandma, though I never, ever told her. She had a strong belief in God and Angels. I have always felt that I had an angel with me that night and that is why I am sitting here writing this now.
My friends, Jamie C, Jamie , Jan, Denise, and Scott... you guys are the best. Thank you! And to Derrick, love of my life, heart and soul ... thank you

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What to do if you have been assaulted:
Find a safe place to be.
DO NOT SHOWER or brush your teeth. You could destroy evidence against your attacker.
Even though it's hard, try to remember and even write down everything you can remember about the attack and the attacker.
Do not feel like it is your fault~ because it is NOT!
Know that healing takes time and that no one can say how long or in what way this will happen. It's taken me this long to talk about!
 

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1.800.656.HOPE
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Click on the banners above for wonderful resources and help.
 
1-800-656-HOPE ~ National Sexual Assault Hotline, 24/7

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